Neil Diamond Christmas

I grew up a passive music listener. My mom loved to socialize us into her music, so whatever was on her radar usually went for the rest of us. Like many other projects of hers, this one worked; I still prefer Chicago and the Beatles to most contemporary music.

When it came to Christmas music, I passively adhered to her musical preference just the same. And this has ruined the way I sing Christmas carols. Why? Two words, one man: Neil Diamond.

I don't even know what song Neil Diamond is most famous for. Sweet Caroline? Maybe. My mom loves his music in any form-- every drive to Pittsburgh (we drove up every summer to see family), we would put in out Neil Diamond cassette tape while driving through the tunnel (I have no idea which tunnel, and if you aren't familiar with Pittsburgh and would fault me for that, check out this and maybe you'll think differently). When we gloriously emerged from the tunnel, we'd raise our voices in unison with Mr. Diamond as we sang, "We comin' to America (today!)."

Seeing as my sisters grew up in Georgia, I'm not sure what this says about the status of the South within the U.S. in the 1990s. No matter our confusion of what constituted "America" and how long we had been in it, we loved Neil Diamond's song that welcomed us there in Pennsylvania.

If you are a fan of Neil Diamond, you know what I mean when I say his songs make you want to sing . . . differently. This urge isn't so much that he is an incredibly talented singer, but more that singing along to Neil requires pauses, syllabic intonations, and a strained drama that most singers find too cheesy to actually belt out. Not Mr. Diamond. Thank god, no.

Of course, he retains his trademark style in his Christmas album--another staple of my Mom's music collcetion. Just listen to some samples of his Christmas fare to get a taste of how none of your favorite songs will never sound the same again. The best part is, if you slow down your own singing and change it to a deep, slightly-talking singing voice, you, too, can sound like Neil Diamond!

After his impressive infiltration into my Christmas song repertoire, I learned that Neil Diamond is actually Jewish. He also does a lovely (diamond-esque, of course) version of Adam Sandler's Chanukah song.]

Despite my somewhat comical view of Mr. Compacted Coal, I really do like his singing. I just sometimes wish I could sing "Morning Has Broken" at church without wanting to do Neil's version, a version that makes me sound like I'm the actor in the emotional climax of a musical and don't realize the orchestra is going faster than me.

Unfortunately, my mother conditioned us strongly enough to her music that I have a hard time question my affinity for him. Thanks Neil. Good times never seemed so good . . . (so good! so good! so good!)